I wish...

Last night on FaceBook, I posted the following....

"Kathy wishes for a whole mess of things right now."

When I posted that, I had a restless feeling. A feeling that winds were changing - that life was going to be different. Many things were running through my head - some trivial - some not.

I wished that I didn't have to get up early this morning, drive for an hour, and do a training. It was an absolutely gorgeous sparkling fall day - the kind of day that you want to spend outside, with your family, so you can squeeze out the last drops of summer. But I had to work. Nothing I could do about it. It was a fact of my life and a requirement of my job. Still didn't stop me from wishing for it.

Several people in my life are going through tough times. I wish that I could make things better for all of them. One mom is struggling with teen-aged daughters who seem to be ungrateful, possess an attitude of entitlement, and see her as "the bad parent". Twice during the last week, she called me in tears. I'm 350 miles away. Another friend is having a hard time at work. She's trapped in a job with little support from her supervisor or her staff. She's fighting the good fight - and doing most of it alone. A third friend recently placed her father in a long-term care facility. Her father isn't adjusting as well as the family would like. It must be so draining for her to know that someone she has loved and looked up to all of her life, now doesn't understand "why she would do that to him". Other friends are facing difficult financial situations, the loss of children who are moving to college or getting married, or relationships that aren't going well. I wish I could make things better for all of them.

My children are both facing major transitions in their lives. My daughter will graduate from college in a few months and plans to move far, far away. The fear and heartbreak I'm experiencing must take a back seat to supporting my lovely, talented, and brave daughter as she seeks to make a life for herself and find her way in the world. It takes an unspeakable amount of courage to give your children their wings. That sounds so easy to say, but it's so very difficult to do. I wish she wouldn't move, but more than that, I wish I had the courage to actually feel what I'm telling her I feel. I miss my little girl.

My son is planning to begin college in a few months. Thankfully, he is only moving a short distance away and I will still be able to get my "mother fix" now and then. Still, for the first time in twenty-three years, my house will be void of children. I wish that didn't have to happen. My son has fought the academic fight all his life. Now, he has the opportunity to attend college and the pride I feel is boundless. I have so many hopes and dreams for him. I also have two wishes. I wish him every success and I say that with conviction. This boy deserves to succeed. But....I also wish he was four years old again and snuggling on my lap. I miss that boy.

My mom is now in her seventies. She is managing a 2500 square foot house, 3 acres of lawns and gardens, and still sewing twenty-six pairs of pajamas every year for her grandchildren. She is 300 miles away. Almost daily, I worry about her being in that big house alone. I wish I could be with her more often. I wish I could do more for her. I wish she would move here, but I know that wouldn't make her happy. She's lived within the same square mile all her life. Again, it still doesn't stop me from wishing.

I wish I could talk to my dad again. He died in 2004. I still can't get my mind around that word.

My friends, God bless them, said things like: "Do you have a wish I can grant? If so, let me know. I'd be glad to help you," and "I hope all your wishes come true! You deserve them," and "Let's throw all our wishes together and get out our wands and see what we can make happen!" Aren't they wonderful?! I wish everyone had friends like mine...