Life, Death and Everything In Between

The boy was here this weekend. While his Aunt worked, he and I spent the morning talking. His grandmother was losing her battle with ALS and he was facing the big questions. Do you want to know what is going to happen after your grandmother dies, I asked? I don't know was his answer. So begins our conversation. Do you believe in Heaven and Hell, he asks. Yes I reply. What do you think happens when you die, he wants to know. I tell him I think you become an angel and then watch over the people you love. I tell him I talk to my Grandmother all the time. I tell him it will get better in time. I tell him it will take his Mom a long time to go through the loss of her Mother. I tell him when he graduates from high school, his Mom will want her Mom there to watch. I tell him when he gets married, she will want her Mom too. I tell him this is normal and that it's not something he can fix. Sometimes serious, sometimes laughing, we make our way through life, death and everything in between.

We talk about how young she is. She is only 56 and he tells me she died and was brought back to life many years ago; a brain aneurysm. We talk about how his Mom isn't going to get ALS, nor is he. There is so little I can do to help him through this life experience, except listen and answer his questions as honestly as I can. I know he is unsure and afraid. I tell him what to expect at a viewing, a funeral, how many people will visit his house, how busy things will be for a few days and then it will stop. He asks about open caskets. He is curious. We talk about how tiring a viewing can be; greeting and talking to people when you really don't feel like talking. We talk about how his family will get to go early to the funeral home and have private time with his grandmother. It is refreshing to talk about death because most adults are uncomfortable talking about the subject.

Our conversations remind me of people I've lost; my grandmother, my grandfather, a cousin who was only 15, and a boyfriend. It reminds me that I too will lose my Mother someday. My brother and I have a pact that neither of us can die first because neither can face the loss of the other. Our conversation remind me that no matter how old or young we are, death and what happens after dying, are HUGE ideas. It also reminds me, as all deaths do, how precious life is and how fast it can slip away. Enjoy every minute of it.

PS: This morning his grandmother lost her battle with ALS; the boy now has a angel to watch over him.